Sunday, 12 July 2009
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Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen Thinspo
Personal
The last few days have been good :) Eating & Emotionally.
ALTHOUGH
When I was taking a bath today, I thought about how weak I really was. I mean, most of the time, I'm not even hungry. And if I am, it's not even painful. Easy to resist. Easy to ignore. I eat out of habit, out of boredom, out of frustration. It's just something I do. And I thought about how pathetic I am. I want to be skinny with all my heart and soul, all I have to do is NOT EAT, which SHOULD BE easy, but I still do. It's pathetic ! It's hysterical to realise it. So, I was like "Well, it's gonna be easy. I'm not gonna look at it as a diet, as anorexia, I'm gonna look at it as a challenge." Didn't last long though ^^ But I ate well today, parents went out so I ate a salad for lunch & dinner ^^ But I did snack on cereal again (I always feel bad about that, but if you think about it, it's not even that bad.) It's just the feeling of caving, giving in, that makes me feel bad.
All I have to do is stick to the plan, excercise & it will be fine. Sounds easy right?
About LOVE. So I told you about this guy right, I never thought I would see him again. He lives in thesame town, but I've never seen him before until my friend brought him along on Rock Werchter. But I thought that was gonna be it. Last week, my friend calls, saying we should go have a drink together with the Werchter-crew =) I bought new clothes and stuff hahaha :") And yes, my georgeous crush was there too ^^ And he was so much more verbal this time, saying stuff to me, smiling to me, he even put on my jacket because he was cold (so cuuuute!) & I think he was even acting a bit macho (which usually is a major turn-off, but he didn't really quite succeed with that, so it was also adorable ^^) Anyways, ooooh my lord, I'm even feeling butterflies again. It's been so long since I felt this way about a person. Not since my ex.
Before I met this amazing guy, I met another guy. Well, I already knew him, he works in thesame youthhouse. He's pretty cool and relax, and he was flirting with me & I went along with it. I thought 'Well, it's been a year, and he's cute, so why not?' although I didn't really have butterflies. But apparantly o_O that's how it goes these days. You start dating or whatever and see if it works out. Ugh, I feel ... disgusted by it. I'm such a sucker for romance haha =) First love and all that crap. I just feel like you should really be attracted (fysically and/or emotionally) by a certain person befooore you start kissing and fucking. Besides, I don't fuck on the first date. I waited 3 months with my ex, don't know if I'll ever wait that long again, but I was glad I did. It feels so much better to wait. Anyway, soooo he's starting to be pretty obvious about liking me, which is like, super, since I'm disgusting. Ugh, whatever, but now I'm stoked about this other guy, so I really don't want to no more. I mean, I can't be with one guy (that I don't superlike) and think about the other guy (which I superlike.) And well, he's even kissing me on the cheek now, and I'm too damn nice to tell him flat out that I'm not interested. Especially after flirting with him and all. But, I'll probably never know if my crush will ever have a crush on me. So, I can go for the other guy, knowing he likes me, or wait forever on the other guy that might never want me. Well, whatever, it doesn't matter. I've decided. I don't fuck around with people's feelings. So I'll just have to wait & flirt some more =)
Tips how to flirt, anyone ? XD
Now, the stuff you've been waiting for: Olsen twins !
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61. This is scary, right?
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LOL Just thought this was a funny add to the post ^^ (not me, by the way)
Well, I wanted to put a lot of comments in between, give some of my thoughts, favorites, but I'm tired, tomorrow will be hardcore. Cause I've been doing well, it will be monday, I will excercise + jog + tone + eat 'well' for the first time in a long time. And it's been about 5 days (if you haven't read any other posts: I cave after 5 days, I usually binge or whatsoever. So tomorrow will be a test to see if I can resist. => Which I said, is pathetic) Anyway, I didn't really think you would care, thinspo's what you need, not my comments whether or not I like Ashley or Mary-Kate better ^^
Favorites anyone?
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